


I'd Give You The Sea [Levi Ackerman]

by LordRadishFallen



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Gay Male Character, Hate to Love, Lesbian Character, M/M, No Smut, Nonbinary Character, Original Character(s), Other, Slow Burn, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:55:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28851687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordRadishFallen/pseuds/LordRadishFallen
Summary: Jude Thorn was only a child of 12 when Shiganshina fell, with Wall Maria following soon after. Them, and their younger brother experienced Hell in the span of a few years, and not everyone can remain calm and collected in the face of despair.*The MC of this fanfiction will be Nonbinary, and referred to with They/Them pronouns alone. This story follows Jude and their younger brother Alphonse through the storyline of Attack On Titan. Not all original story details from the original manga or anime will be the same, I do not own any of the characters in this fanfiction aside from the ones I create.
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Reader, Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir, Levi Ackerman & Reader
Kudos: 1





	1. The Fall of Shiganshina

Woodsmoke filled the room, the pot over the fire bubbled gently. I was sitting on the cool stone floor, folding a white tablecloth and placing it on the freshly swept floor.   
The warmth from the fire caressed my body, I felt cozy, and comfortable.   
My mother was humming to herself while she washed the dishes, and my thoughts shifted to Armin, Mikasa and Eren.   
"Mum, can I go and play with my friends now?" I asked, sounding a little whiny.   
"Not until we have lunch, ok sweetie?" I roll my eyes dramatically and stuck out my tongue. My mum chuckled lightly.

Suddenly, my warm bubble was crushed as a horrific sound echoed through the town, the earth shook under our feet. I looked to my mother with fear in my eyes, and the sound of large rocks crumbling filled my ears.   
For a moment, everything was frozen. Nothing made a sound, I thought I'd gone deaf. 

Then, there was screaming.

Screams that curdled my blood echoed through the air, roars of fear and warning, the stampeding of feet, all exploded into being at the same time and my mother grabbed my arm and ran outside, looking for my father and brother.   
They were still in the backyard, Al was screaming, tears pouring down his face, his nose running and his mouth was twisted with agony, and I forced myself to look at my father, to see his torso completely crushed under a boulder, blood splattered on Al. More oozing slowly from underneath, like it's crimson hands were searching.  
I started screaming too, although I didn't notice at first until my throat started hurting. My mother collapsed to her knees, tears pouring from her eyes, but she didn't go to my father. To his pale, and now sickly hands.  
She went to Al, and scooped him up too, and she ran.

She didn't look back as she grabbed my wrist firmly, although I wasn't sure that if she did she would be able to see father, with the tears streaming down her eyes. We burst through the house to the street. The noise was intensifying, a chorus of echoes was bouncing maniacally off the walls of the houses, making no sense.   
My mother kept running, her sobbing children in her arm, and behind her.   
The voices kept bouncing, but now they were coming together into one word.

Titans.

"Titans have broken through!"

"We're all going to die!! RUN!!" 

"THE TITANS ARE COMING, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!" 

My friends' faces flashed behind my eyes, I'd seen them only an hour ago, asking my mom if I could come out.   
Were they okay? What was happening to them?

I got distracted when the first giant foot came into view. I looked up to see a disgusting, leering titan grin at me, it was much taller than a house, it almost looked like it glowed with the cold, gray stone wall behind it. It's appearance made me feel deply disturbed, it's grotesque charicature of what humans looked like made it seem even less human.  
My mother skidded to a stop, the other adults had already gone ahead of us, we were closer to the wall than them, and my mother had a hard time running while pregnant.

She threw us as hard as she could to the side.   
"RUN JUDE, TAKE YOUR BROTHER!" She screeched at the top of her lungs. Her blonde hair was matted to her head with sweat and her face was red. I knew she couldn't continue.   
I stood, and gathered Alphonse into my arms, he was small for his age, still ten, but as small as an eight year old.   
I couldn't bring myself to move though, my feet felt cemented to the ground, and I wanted to run so badly, but my brain felt disconnected.   
"RUN!!" My mother screamed again.   
"But, mom!!" I yelled, tears still pouring from my eyes, my fathers dead face in my head, now was slowing turning into a vision of my mother, dead, in the jaws of a titan.

"GO JUDE, YOU HAVE TO TAKE YOUR BROTHER!!" She ignored me, and I bit into my lip, my knees trembling, and I tucked Al closer to me and sprinted away, the titans were leering still, its movement slow and almost comical if not for the blood on its feet and mouth.   
"I LOVE YOU, REMEMBER THAT!" My mother sobbed, and it felt like her words wrenched my heart out of my chest and dropped a brick on it.   
"I'M SORRY MUM, I LOVE YOU!!" I screamed back, my will cracking as I ran. Al was wriggling in my grasp and was desperately trying to go to our mother. We were almost out of the street with the titan, I could see people ahead.   
"SOMEONE HELP MY MOTHER!! SHE'S GOING TO DIE!!" I screeched, but no one heard, or if they did hear, they ignored me.   
A sob ripped from my mouth and I bit my tongue. Screams for help kept coming out of my mouth, and one man heard me as I neared the people running, but he quickly turned away and ran.

Desperation clawed itself into my voice and no one would listen. Al was still in my arms, and I looked at him, he was frozen in horror staring behind us. I turned, and saw the titan staring at us, more blood than before on its lips.   
Anger, pure, hot, fury flooded my veins like lava, and for a moment I stopped, and was going to turn back.   
"NO!" Al cried, seeing me lurch back, "MAMA TOLD US TO LEAVE! YOU CANT GO BACK HE'LL EAT YOU TOO!" Al screamed, he jolted me back to my senses, and I felt my throat close off. I nodded, unable to speak, and set him down, my arms screaming from holding his weight. I grabbed his hand and held it tight to me, refusing to let my only family go.

I raced to follow the others, the ground shook and I could hear the impact of large feet from all around, the screams hadn't ceased this whole time.   
The molten rage hadn't simmered inside me at all, but I didn't want to frighten Alphonse any more than I already had, so I stayed quiet.

My lungs felt like they were collapsing and Al's face was beet red when we found the escape boats at last, I desperately looked around for Armin, Mikasa or Eren, desperate to see them, and I saw a glimpse of Eren. Relief did little to ease my rage and heartbreak, and I hugged Al tightly to my side as the crowd thickened.

Screams and crying and yelling surrounded us, I covered Al's ears, and he placed his hands over mine, tears and snot dripping down his face as he let out heartbreaking sobs. My own tears never once stopped.   
Enormous footsteps were speeding towards us and the screams intensified as we all saw a strange titan come rushing at us, I clutched Al to me, his face in my shoulder so he couldn't see what was about to happen to us, but I looked, I wanted to know when it would be safe for Al to see again.  
There was a flash of dark green, and the sound of a knife slicing and clashing, the titan lurched, it's eyes still locked onto us, and fell to it's side, steam bursting out of it. The corpse missed us by a few yards, the resulting tremors its size created made the waves pick up and toss us around.

A man with black hair was on the ground next to it, holding long sword like blades and he was yelling, I could barely make out "KEEP MOVING" in a deep voice through the chaos. I felt a surge of hatred for this man, if he had been there with mum maybe she would still be here. Maybe she would be holding us to her, keeping us warm, protecting us from the adults shoving us around on the boat. Maybe I wouldn't feel like my entire existence had come unshackled.

I kept my hands over Al's ears as best as I could as we were shoved to the front by adults I didn't know in beige jackets with roses on them.   
"CHILDREN AND WOMEN FIRST, NO PERSONAL BELONGINGS." Was yelled over and over by the men, and I was almost toppled over by Al as he ran towards Armin, who was looking stressed, but relieved.   
"Alphonse?" Armin cried, his face breaking out in a relieved smile. He glanced around as I followed and he smiled at me but it froze.   
I wasn't sure when I'd begun to feel completely empty, but I realized now there were drying tears and blood all over me, most of it coming from Al, making it our father's blood. I collapsed next to Armin and pulled Al next to me, keeping my arm around him and he clung to me, sobbing and crying, the sound made my heart shatter as it was intensified by the adults and children sardined around us.   
"Jude..? Where are your-"   
"Armin, let them be.." Armin's grandpa spoke up, and he obediently kept quiet, but he kept looking at me with concern.   
"I saw Eren and Mikasa earlier, they're okay too.." Armin whispered. I nodded numbly, staring at the wooden floor of the boat as it lurched into movement. Seeing Armin had brought back a little spark in me, I felt a little less hopeless knowing I had friends who cared for me, and still had my-now-only sibling by my side.

Suddenly, more screams burst into being like wildfires, those around us who had looked numb or destroyed now looked shocked and horrified, I looked up to see what they were seeing, "not anything else..please.." whispered through my head.   
A large, muscled titan was lumbering through the street, staring at Wall Maria. Absolute terror crushed me like a waterfall,   
"No..." I whispered, thunderstruck, as it took off in a sprint, Al looked up, I was too frozen to cover his eyes, watching, mesmerized as the muscled titan was now sprinting, it's footsteps like thunder. Suddenly it was going almost too fast to see, canonballs popping against it but not doing anything to slow it down.   
"The wall..." Armin whispered, and I clapped a hand over my mouth, feeling a scream mingled with a cry rise.

With a burst of dust and the sound of crumbling stone, Wall Maria was breached, more boulders flew and hit the water near us, several people on the street were crushed beneath it.   
I stared at the people across the water, and the soldier with the green cloak and black hair caught my eye, he was looking at the boat, probably to see if any rocks had damaged it, and we made eye contact.

I felt my eyebrows pull down in hatred, the back of my head knew it was irrational to blame him. It was titans who killed my mother and father. Titans who caused the boulder to collapse onto my father, titans who ate my mother.   
But I saw how easily he made one fall to the ground with a burst of steam.

And he wasn't there when Alphonse and I needed him.   
I needed someone to blame before I was crushed under the experience, and my brain focussed on him.   
He looked like he could see my expression, because he looked shocked for a moment, and I held his stare until we were in the tunnel, and I couldn't see him, the ground still roaring and tremoring around us.


	2. 1. Memories on My Skin

Note:   
The Gender identity and race is up to the reader, they will be interested in both men and women, and I will not be making them seem more masculine or more feminine for anyone nor will I be describing their hair or skin tones. You can make their gender and race match yours or you can see them as a man, woman or enby as you see fit. This is also a slow burn, enemies to lovers fanfiction and most likely will not be over anytime soon.

*

Suddenly I'm upright and in the present, the room is pitch black, shadows slithering up my arm, and choking me. I try to pry the hands around my throat and gasp quietly with air, when I realize there are none.   
Visions flit across the darkness, blink my mother is being ripped from me, blink, Al is sobbing into my shoulder as I run for our lives, blink, Armin's grandfather doesn't come back from the Scouts expedition, blink.

And then it's just darkness again.

My temple throbs like a lance has been driven through it and I grab my head, pressing in on both sides of my temple, hoping to ease the headache with outside pain.   
I must be having nightmares because today is our first day away from the camp.   
Today's the day we go to the Outlier district Trost, do some warmups on ODM gear in a modern setting.   
Something about today has a pit in my stomach.

I focus on the breathing people asleep around me, and listen, forcing myself to breathe at their pace.   
Slowly, I can hear my heartrate begin to ease up, now it isn't pulsing in my ears.   
Emotional agony won't stop rushing through my veins, straight to my heart like a knife.   
I lay back down slowly, closing my eyes and burying myself in my blanket, trying to get a little more sleep in before we need to leave, hoping the nightmares cease. 

*

I chewed and swallowed the bland gruel we had everyday, staring at the monotonous colour of wood around me in the mess hall, my fellow cadets all varied from excitement about the day ahead all nervous that they would choke and not be fit to be a soldier on the field.   
Soon we would be choosing what career path to go down,   
Mikasa, myself, Reiner, Bertoldht, Annie, Eren, Jean, Marco, Connie and Sasha all had the options to become Military Police.

But the thought of joining the squad of fat lazy pigs never appealed to me.   
The Garrison that guards the walls wasn't something I found interesting, and I planned to stick with Armin, Mikasa and Eren and join the Scouts.   
It wasn't ever a tough choice for me. I wanted what was best for Al, I wanted him to choose to be in the Garrison Regiment, or to go to the Military police, but where he was excellent and well rounded with his abilities, he hadn't made the cut for the MPs, I'd offered to screw up enough to bump me out of the running for the MPs since I wouldn't go anyway, but Al had just yelled at me instead. Ever since he had gotten taller than me he was always acting like he was suddenly older than me as well.

Sitting in the bustling hall, voices harmonying around me then splitting off into a cacophony, I felt at peace. This place was the closest thing to a home I had had since MY home had been destroyed and ransacked. It had become comfortable. Not amazing food or a really fun place to be, but I was around my friends, many of whom felt like siblings to me now. I felt very deeply sorrowful at the idea of not being able to wake up and smell the crisp wood, and feel the cool morning air against me. I'd miss having a steady access to food, to being around people when I slept. To feeling secure. Depression was oozing up around me, it felt like I was sinking into my bed, my heart felt like it was being crushed by my emotions as memories of my time here played behind my eyeids. Actual tears fell from my eyes and I felt stunned for a moment. Why was I so goddamn depressed about leaving this place? Damn it. 

As my fellow cohorts and our time spent together were relived in my brain, the sudden image of of the black haired man played in the back of my mind and I wondered for the several hundredth time what career he had chosen. I have never gotten a good enough look to see if he wore any insignia, he was trained and seemed used to killing titans so I always assumed Scouts but he could have just been an exceptional Garrison squad member, although doubt always made me unsure about that, Garrison members had never even seen titans unless they were stuck on outer wall duties, no way would they be able to kill a titan so effortlessly.

I rolled my eyes at myself and instead glanced around without really knowing what or who I was looking for until I saw Annie, she was staring at me, I'm not sure for how long, my heart leapt a little involuntarily and I stared back at her. My cheeks burned, and I prayed I wasn't anywhere as red as I felt. She didn't seem to have a reason for staring but neither did I. It somehow felt...intimate. Like she understood everything I hadn't said and was telliing me something abut herself in return.

My heart pounded in my ears,   
"Jude?" Armin asked quietly and I looked at him involuntarily, breaking eye contact with Annie.   
He smiled when he saw me lock eyes with him, knowing I had his attention.   
I'd always been closer with Armin than Mikasa or Eren but we had all been friends for so long it didn't particularly matter.   
"You should finish eating, we're going soon." He murmured, and I nodded, turning to finish eating and I saw him glance between Annie and I curiously.   
My ears burned a little and I stared at my food again.


End file.
